It's Been A Long Day
by ballistics belle
Summary: Because Steve somehow knows that "I lost him" means "I let him go". slash
1. It's Been a Long Day

**Author's note: **So I'm jumping on the bandwagon with everybody else. We all know that Danny had to have gone to Steve after everything that happened. This has nothing to do with any of my other stories.

_It's been a long day and all I've got to say is make it strong. It's been a long day and all I want to do is hide away. So take a leave of absence, tell me you'll be gone. I don't want to see your face. It's been a long day and I just want to hide away. ~Rosi Golan, It's Been A Long Day_

* * *

It was the part of the job that Steve McGarrett had quite gotten used to dealing with. The aftermath, the debris and broken pieces that were left behind in the wake of a case. In combat, it was his job to cause the chaos and he sure as hell never stuck around long enough to see the consequences of his actions. After his mother's death he had been sent away before he could see the effects of her absence and his father's death had simply left him with a puzzle to solve. This was the first time he would have to deal with picking up the broken pieces and holding onto them while his partner tried to put his life and family back together.

As he dug through the cabinets looking for the bottle of hard liquor that he kept stashed away, Steve couldn't help but think how unfair it all was. Danny Williams was a good person. He was a loving father, a dedicate police officer as well as a devoted son and brother. He had done nothing in his life that would explain all the suffering he was forced to endure. All Danny had wanted was a happy, healthy family. All Rachel wanted was stability and status. Two people with conflicting dreams trying to make it work only to eventually realize it was never going to. So he rearranged his entire life to move half away across the world so he could spend a few precious hours with his little girl. To try to make it seem like he hadn't failed as a father because the one thing Danny Williams could not accept was failure.

It was why Steve had chosen him as a partner. Danny could have easily told him to go fuck himself and handed off his father's case to someone else who would have bowed down to Steve. But instead, he stuck with the case and suffered through the SEAL's crazy stunts because he did not want to admit that he failed in catching the man who killed Steve's father. At the time he had no idea who Steve McGarrett was and Steve was pretty sure that the Jersey native hadn't cared that he was the Lt. Commander that the Governor had handpicked to run her taskforce. All that mattered was that Steve was the victim's son and he deserved answers and closure. Well, now it was time for Steve to repay the favor.

Steve had his doubts about Matthew Williams from the start. The guy was just too charming, too cool and too perfect for him to be legit. But he couldn't tell his partner that. His reaction to the FBI's accusations was exactly what Steve had predicted it to be and he would be damned if he was going to make Danny think that he was doubting the detective again. Not after Mekka and not after Nick Taylor. The detective was fiercely loyal and always believed the best about the people he cared for. It also meant that he could be naïve as to what those close to him could be doing. He was a good person and so he surrounded himself with other good people, or at least who he thought were good people.

Steve cursed out the younger Williams brother as he set the half empty bottle of bourbon on the counter. He didn't understand how Matt could do this to his older brother. Danny was willing to risk his reputation and possibly his career to help his little brother through all of this and what had Matt done? He'd skipped out on his big brother, leaving him hanging. When the FBI agent had started making accusations at Danny, the protective side of Steve came out. He had to give his partner an out. So he played their good cop/bad cop game and prayed that Danny got the message.

It took everything in him to not going rushing out that door with his partner. He wanted to go along to make sure that Matt didn't get away with this. To make sure that he suffered as much as Danny had. But he knew this was something that Danny had to do alone. So Steve had left the hotel and headed back home to be there with a glass of something strong and whatever ever else Danny needed to get through this. Because while he may have been able to deal with the whole Stan fiasco by himself, this time Steve knew Danny wasn't going to be able to handle this all on his own.

* * *

It really wasn't surprising to Danny at all that he had ended up at Steve's house after leaving the airport. Because while Matt may have been the one to talk him off the ledge after his divorce, Steve was the one to show him that the ledge wasn't even an option. It was a strange turn of events recently that Steve was being the voice of reason to Danny's insanity but he welcomed it in a way. It was a release to have someone else worry about the damn consequences for once.

It had been instilled into Danny from an early age that he had to be the responsible one. He was not only the oldest child but the oldest son and he had been told for as a long as he could remember that it was up to him to set the example for his siblings. 'How are they ever going to know how to behave if you don't show them?' his mother used to tell him when he misbehaved. It was a lot of responsibility on a young boy but he had done his best. Lately though his best hadn't meant a whole lot. His life had been turning into a comedy of errors until Steve McGarrett forced his way in and refused to leave. Now, Danny didn't know what he'd do if the SEAL ever did decide to leave him.

Steve didn't have to lie to the FBI. It wasn't his brother and it certainly wasn't his ass on the line and yet the idiot did it anyways. Danny really shouldn't have been surprised considering this was the same man who stole ten million dollars from an HPD evidence locker to save another one of their owns' life. A little white lie was nothing compared to that. But to Danny it was everything. It was an understanding, a trust, _a form of love_ that Danny had at one time questioned whether or not existed. Steve McGarrett had lied to the FBI to give him time to find his brother first. And Danny had let him go instead.

Danny had watched the plane take off with angry tears in his eyes. Matthew got to fly away from his problems, taking life as they had both known it with him leaving Danny behind to deal with the aftermath of it all. As the plane had disappeared into the night sky, the eldest Williams brother swallowed his tears and got into the car, driving on autopilot to the McGarrett residence. He could have gone to any number of places. He could have gone home and screamed and yelled and thrown things until he fell into a fitful sleep. He could have gone to Rachel and told the whole sad story to her. But he went to Steve because he wasn't in the mood to talk right now. There'd be enough time for that later when all this shit hit the fan. Tomorrow he would be the responsible one again but tonight…tonight he just needed a release.

Steve was waiting for him on the back porch with two glasses and a bottle of bourbon. 'God he knows me too well'. Danny thought to himself as he settled into the other deck chair. Steve didn't say anything, just simply waited for his partner to speak.

"I lost him." Danny stated. Because somehow Steve knows that 'I lost him' means 'I let him go'. Steve, for his part, didn't look angry or surprised. If anything he looked satisfied. "You knew. You knew I couldn't do it. You didn't lie to the FBI to buy me time to find him and bring him in myself…you lied to give me time to say goodbye." Steve just sipped his drink slowly, still not saying anything. Danny wanted to smack the passive look off his partner's face because it's not fair for him to look so calm when Danny feels like losing control. The SEAL set his drink down on the arm of the chair and looked at his partner.

"What do you need Danny?" Steve's eyes are a darker shade than normal and Danny knows this is exactly why he ended up here tonight.

"I need a release. I want to let go of all these responsibilities and just let it all be somebody else's problem for once…I want to forget, Steve. Can you help me forget?" Steve picks up on the sense of desperation in his partner's voice and in that moment he would give anything to make the hurt just go the fuck away.

Danny doesn't say anything when Steve takes the glass out of his hand and certainly doesn't question when the other man pulls him back up to his feet by one hand. He has relinquished himself completely to Steve. It's terrifying, really, how much unquestioning faith he is putting in a man who risks his life on an almost daily basis. But Danny doesn't want to think about that right now. He doesn't want to think about anything right now except for the fact that there is a look in his partner's eyes that's promising to make everything go away if he just trusts him.

So Danny lets himself be pulled slowly into the house behind the dark haired man. He lets himself be directed up the staircase and down the hall to where he knows Steve's bedroom is. Danny makes no attempt to move, but instead waits patiently for direction from the other man. Steve opens his mouth but no words come out as he instead uses his lips to slowly capture Danny's. The blonde closes his eyes and sighs in relief. Steve separates their lips from one another and begins a slow trail down Danny's neck. Danny's head falls forward, resting on Steve's chest while the SEAL starts a trail of kisses up his neck to his ear.

"I've got you, Danny. You can let go. I'll put you back together, I promise."

Steve's words ghost across his ear with his warm breath. Danny's knees go a little bit weak but Steve's strong arms are there around his hips holding him up. He guides them over towards his bed where he lays Danny down.

"Just let go." Steve whispers again as he slowly removes Danny's tie.

The blue eyes that stare back up at him are so dull that Steve has to turn away. He turns his attention to the buttons on his partner's shirt. It's incredibly thrilling to have Danny so subservient, so pliable and yet at the same time, Steve hates it. Because a happy Danny is loud and boisterous and demanding. A happy Danny would be making snarky comments while fighting for dominance with him. Steve wants that man back but he knows it's going to take time and patience.

Steve's long fingers begin to dance across Danny's bare chest and down his arms taking the residual trembling away. Steve takes his hand and places feather light kisses to the fingertips and inside the palm. His delicate attention makes Danny forget that he had used that hand to point a gun at his younger brother. Danny remains open and vulnerable to his partner as Steve caresses his body slowly. The SEALs hands light but strong as they roam the smaller man's body looking for the cracks. Steve knows that Danny needs him to be strong right now. He needs to know that he doesn't have to be everybody's hero all the time.

Danny closes his eyes as Steve continues to lavish his form of comfort all over his body and the sight of his brother's face slowly fades from his vision. This is was why he came here tonight. Because Steve understands what it means to forget.


	2. Time

**Author's note: **Okay so I went back and forth as to whether or not I should continue with this or if I should just leave it as a one shot but since I got such an amazing response and since so many you wanted more, my decision was easy. I don't know how long this is going to be but I have an idea and I want to roll with it. Also forgive me if I keep going back and forth between tenses. I just can't figure out how exactly I want it to be told.

_I said hello I think I'm broken and though I was only joking, it took me by surprise when you agreed. I was trying to be clever, for the life of me I never would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead. You knew all my lines, you knew all my tricks, you knew how to heal that pain no medicine can fix~ Diamond Rio, You're Gone_

* * *

Danny woke up to the sight of an empty bed. It depressed him slightly because Steve had said he had him. That it was okay to let go because Steve would put him back together. So Danny had allowed himself to shatter into a million tiny jagged pieces figuring that if anybody could put them back together correctly it would be the Super SEAL himself. And now what? Danny was a fucking mess and McGarrett was nowhere to be found. Danny closed his eyes. These last few days had to be some kind of a dream and eventually he had to wake up. The other side of the bed dipped down and Danny opened his eyes to the sight of his partner's bare back.

"The FBI is at your apartment." Steve said, still not facing the blonde.

Danny could just see the navy waist band of his running shorts and heard the distinctive thunk of shoes hitting the floor. Steve must have gone past his apartment on his morning run. Which was completely stupid because there was no way that Danny's apartment could have been on any of his routes but it was also completely noble and the exact kind of thing that Steve McGarrett would do because the man was nothing if not loyal.

"Idiots. Do they honestly think that I would hide my brother in my apartment? Do they really think I'm that stupid?"

"I think they're looking for you." Steve clarified.

"Oh." Danny replied dumbly. "That should probably bother me more than it does." Because really nothing could bother Danny right now. He'd been to hell and back and there again in this past year. He had watched his wife leave him, watched said wife remarry, left his entire family to move half way across the world for his daughter and lost a partner, a brother and his entire sense of self. Nope, nothing really got to the detective anymore. Except for Steve McGarrett.

Somehow the Lieutenant Commander had become the one of a few positive constants in his life. Danny always knew he had Grace, his job and Steve McGarrett (Rachel was a constant as well but that wasn't always a good thing). It really blew the detective mind how quickly his partner had gone from annoying pain in the ass to the best fucking friend Danny had ever had. Before Danny had thought that title belonged to Matt, his precious baby brother who had helped him through his divorce but as he watched Steve peer back at him with those big worried puppy dog eyes, it made him realize that the position belonged to the SEAL hands down.

Because when the shit hit the fan, Mattie had been passive in his attempts offering liquor and time while Steve kept true to his man of action mentality. He did his best to try to make the pain go away. Steve knew that he couldn't fix the problem (at least not right now) so he instead focused on doing whatever Danny needed to make things seems okay again. Danny appreciated that Steve didn't try to be Matt. Because he never could be and Danny would never want him to be.

"I'll protect you, Danny." Steve declared and Danny knew he meant from so much more than the FBI. Steve would protect him from bullets, evil divorce lawyers, his ex and his own goddamn mind. Because Steve knew there were dark places that threaten to swallow Danny if no one was there to keep him away from them. What Steve has offered to his partner is so much more than anyone had before which was why Danny has to know

"What is this?" He asks, referring to the change in their relationship. Because it had definitely changed. It was one thing as partners to have a couple drinks after a particularly awfully day. It was another thing entirely to soothe each other's pain with whispered words and kisses.

"Does it really have to anything?" Steve replies. "You came to me in a time of need and I offered you comfort. Does it have to be more than that?" Steve sees the look on Danny's face and immediately knows Danny has taken his words the wrong way. This was what he was afraid of and why he had woken up early to try to sort this out. Unfortunately his run left him with more questions than answers. So he had decided to let Danny dictate how this was to go.

"Are you saying that's all it was to you? Just an act of comfort towards a friend? Because let me say if it is, you are an awfully generous friend." Danny jokes, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. And Steve knows that Danny joked because it had meant something to him. But fuck if Steve knows what to do about it.

"You know you're more than just my friend." Steve starts.

"But…" Danny adds. There's always a but…

"But I don't think this is the right time to be trying to figure this out. You're going through a lot right now and I'm just trying to be here for you through it all. We both know there's something going on between us and I think we both want to know where it might lead but you need to get your life figured out first. _We_ can wait…_I_ can wait." Steve has turned so he can look Danny in the eye and the detective can see the absolute sincerity in his partner's eyes.

"Do you promise?" Danny whispers, not like the desperation in his own voice.

"I promise." Steve assures, reaching across to take the other man's hand. Danny nods slowly.

"Good." Danny says mostly to himself. "I should go. I need to call my parents. This is going to kill them." He explains but makes no attempt to move just yet. Steve squeezes his hand.

"Take the day and take care of your family. We'll muddle through without you somehow." Steve jokes a little but it's lost on his partner.

The blonde pulls his hand away and starts to collect his clothes that had been scattered about the room and Steve instantly feels the loss. He wants to pull his partner back into his arms and cradled him. He wants to kiss him all over and tell him that it will all be okay. He wants to tell Danny that he'll never leave him or hurt him. He wants to tell him that he loves him. But instead, Steve says nothing as he watches Danny dress and leave.

Because now is not the time.


	3. Haunted

**A/N: **I've really come to love this story which is why it sometimes takes me so long to update because I want to make sure I get it right. I think there's something incredibly vulnerable about pain and so I'm trying to work with that and show how intimate it can be at the same time. There's something almost sensual about being open and exposed to someone and letting them see your faults and cracks and letting that person soothe those wounds with words or touch.

* * *

The sound of his mother's voice haunts Danny. He had called her after leaving Steve's house and as expected it hadn't gone well. First his mother had denied that Matt had done anything wrong and then she had sworn that it was just a misunderstanding and that Matt would come back in a few days. Finally she broke down into full hysterics, screaming at Danny to do something to bring her baby boy back.

"_How could you let this happen, Daniel? How could you let my baby boy go?"_

His mother had screamed for a good twenty minutes before his father had taken the phone. He had barely gotten off the phone with his parents before his oldest sister Audrey had called him in no better shape than his mother wanting to know all the details and all the implications. It had all been exhausting and Danny had wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and crawl into his bed and hide in his bed until he was ready to process this all. But then the FBI showed up ruin any hope of those plans happening anytime soon.

Danny hates the inevitable pissing match that always comes along with dealing with the FBI. They accuse him of telling his brother about the indictment and he counters with the fact that they have no evidence to justify that claim. So then the agents threaten him with obstruction of justice charges if he doesn't tell them where his brother is to which Danny informs them that one-he has no idea where Matt is (which isn't a total lie-He doesn't know where Matt is now though he's got a few pretty good guesses) and two-he has full immunity from the governor. The FBI tries to push him around for a few more minutes before realizing that Danny isn't going to give them anything, so they leave, offering one more threat that the governor can't protect him forever.

Finally alone for the first time since he watched his brother disappear into the night sky, Danny has a chance to really think about everything that has just occurred and the repercussions of the actions which leads him to a startling revelation. He was a hypocrite. Danny never hesitated to read his partner the riot act when Steve would do something slightly off color and yet when his brother had done something blatantly illegal, Danny had turned the other cheek. It made the detective sick to his stomach. How was he ever supposed to look at his daughter in the eye again?

Danny's phone rings, cutting through his dark thoughts and bringing him back to a reality. It's Steve and he's got a new case for them. The SEAL tells him to make sure he takes care of his family first but Danny replies that he'll be by to pick up Steve in ten minutes. He needs to get back to work to keep his mind on something other than the disaster that is quickly becoming known as his life. There's a quality to Steve's voice that Danny can't quite put his finger on but he's pretty sure it's suppressed concern. Danny wants to tell his partner to suck up and stop worrying about him. But the words die on his lips as he hangs up. There's something oddly comforting about having Steve McGarrett worry about him and it just might be what gets him through all of this.

* * *

"I need some time off." Danny requests as he stands in front of Steve's desk later that week after their case has been wrapped up. Steve takes the request form and sets it off to the side of his desk.

"Going back to Jersey?" The request doesn't surprise the leader of the 5-0 but that doesn't exactly mean he likes it.

Steve has noticed over the past few days that when left alone for any period of time, Danny's face took on a pained expression and it was clear his mind was somewhere else. So he did his best to make sure Danny was never alone for long even if it meant taking him home and tucking him into his bed at night to keep his brain from hijacking his thoughts and robbing him of his sleep.

"The family needs me right now. My mother is not taking this well and we just all need to get together and deal with this." Danny explains.

Steve didn't need to know that his mother had to be medicated because she had gone into full blown hysterics and his sister Audrey was calling him multiple times a day with legal questions and wondering what it all meant for the family. The only ones who were remaining relatively normal were his baby sister Casey and his father.

Steve takes a long look at his partner's face. Danny looks like he's aged ten years in a week. Permanent creases were beginning to develop on his forehead and his eyes had lost all of their radiance. There was a sag in his shoulder that made it look like he was carrying around the weight of the world and his speech was flat as if the words just came out of his mouth on autopilot.

It was obvious that this trip was the last thing he really wants to do. Which depresses Steve in a way. Danny always talks about Jersey and how much he misses it and how much he wants to go back. This should have been a joyous occasion, not a chore. But Steve also knows something about having responsibilities. It's how he had ended up back in Hawaii after his father's death. It was how he ended up as the leader of the 5-0 taskforce. It was how he had become responsible for making sure Gracie always has her Danno.

There's an irrational part of his brain that is telling him if he lets Danny leave, the detective is never going to come back. That being back home in New Jersey will make Danny realize what a mistake he's making and everything will be ruined before it even has a chance to begin. So as much as Steve doesn't want his partner to go because-damn it-there's something there between them and he wants-_practically needs-_ to figure out what the hell it is, he signs the form like a good commanding officer.

"Take all the time you need, Danny." Steve tells the other man. But in his head he can hear himself add

'_Just make sure you come back'_


	4. Like The Realest Thing

**A/N: **I know this is a short chapter BUT I already have the next chapter done and will post it later. This is a look into Steve's thoughts about everything that's happen and I have to say that Steve can be really hard to write! lol

_I was born in the arms of imaginary friends. Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been. Then you come crashing in like the realest things. Trying my best to understand what your love can bring._

_-John Mayer, Half of My Heart_

* * *

Steve takes Danny to the airport and it's the most awkward moment they've ever had. Which Steve thinks can't be possible considering their first meeting consisted of a standoff in his garage but even pointing pistols at each other felt more comfortable than standing outside of the security checkpoint not knowing how to properly say goodbye to each other.

They could kiss (because lord knows it wouldn't be the first time) but that feels like a gesture reserved for couples further along in their relationships than them. The two men could hug but there's something about it that just doesn't seem right either. Unsure of any other move to make, Steve simply holds out a hand to his partner which Danny takes. Steve holds his hand firmly for a minute before giving it a squeeze.

"Call me when you get there?"

He meant for it to sound more like an order than a request but Steve is incapable of demanding anything from Danny right now. Whatever the detective wants to give him, the SEAL will take without question or complaint. Danny nods and then looks towards the gates.

"I better get going." He informs and it's Steve turn to nod. Danny can see the hesitation in his partner's eyes to let him go and he wants to reassure him that it'll be fine-that _they'll _be fine-but he is uncharacteristically lost for words. So he squeezes Steve's hand again before letting go.

Steve stays and watches until he can no longer see Danny's blonde head anymore before he turns to leave the airport. Danny told him that he could use the Camaro while he was gone (under threat that if he totaled it he was buying Danny a new one) and there's a certain kind of trust that goes along with the action that Steve isn't sure he's earned yet. It's that and the feeling like Danny is giving away prized possessions because he's not coming back that makes Steve take the car back to his house and pick up his truck.

Of course Steve knows that Danny is coming back to Hawaii. Grace is here and wherever she goes so does Danny. But there's a feeling that Danny isn't coming back to_ him_ that leaves the SEAL feeling restless and unnerved. It's these feelings that have Steve reviewing the last six months with Danny in detail to make sure that he didn't miss a sign. And the one thing that Steve keeps coming back to is the beginning.

Danny never had a choice. Steve had barreled his way onto Danny's case, took it over and never once asked the haole detective whether or not he wanted to be his partner. It was just an automatic assumption that Danny would take the job-and he had-but it wasn't like Steve had given him a whole lot of say in the matter.

Sure Danny could have told Steve to go screw himself and gone back to HPD and onto another case but it would have been a kind of career suicide for him. Danny had enough problems as it was being a mainlander in the department, so to have to go back to the bull pen where everybody would have known he had gotten pushed around by the Governor's pet? Danny never would have heard the end of it.

It was the same with Steve going and changing everything about their relationship. He never asked if Danny was ready to take this next step. Steve had just assumed like always. Unlike his partner who was all about using his words, Steve was a tactile kind of person. Words didn't hold much meaning to him. Not like actions did. Actions didn't get lost in translation and were fairly permanent. So when Danny had come to him, Steve didn't have comforting phrases or soothing promises to offer his partner. All he had was his touch. And stupid Steve had never once stop to think that maybe that wasn't what Danny really needed.

And now there was no going back for either of them.

A feeling of uncertainty settles in and for the first time since he met Danny, Steve begins to wonder if he's done the right thing.


	5. Lonely Was the Song I Sang

**A/N: **so now we get a little bit of Danny's thoughts on the situation. I was in a good mood when I wrote this chapter so its actually got a happy ending which can be a rarity for me sometimes. Anyways, enjoy!

_I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else. Made a plan, stay the man who could only love himself. Lonely was the song I sang till the day you came, showing me another way and all that my love can bring. -John Mayer, Half of My Heart_

* * *

Danny has a ten hour plane ride with nothing to do but think. Knowing that his thoughts are going to be consumed by what his brother has just done and all the repercussions that stem from it for the near future once he is with his family, Danny decides to turn his attention to the other dilemma in his life at the moment which is what the hell is going on between him and his partner. His brain begins to argue the pros and cons of being in a relationship with Steve McGarrett (and when the hell that even became a viable option in his life)

By the time he lands in Newark, the final decision he has come to is that Steve was big jerk for going and ruining Danny's plans-just like always.

After his divorce, Danny had decided that he was not going to be fooled twice and therefore would not put his heart out there to be broken again. He was okay with being a confirmed bachelor for the rest of his life. He received plenty of love from Grace and his family to satisfy him and he had enough good friends to fulfill his need for companionship.

Then Steve McGarrett came traipsing into his life with his playboy looks, insane personality quirks and a sense of loyalty so fierce and yet so childlike that it made Danny wonder if this man could possibly be for real. Somewhere along the lines (Danny can't pinpoint exactly where but he thinks it's somewhere around the time that Steve's SEAL buddy shows up) things had gone from Danny wanting to kill him to Danny being willing to kill _for _him.

It was sometime around Christmas that Danny started to realized that he had feelings for Steve that went farther than just those of a platonic friendship. He's pretty sure that Steve was feeling the same way but because they were both two stubborn alpha males, neither wanted to be the first to admit feelings. After a few too many close calls that they both began to realize how stupid their stubbornness was. It wasn't until Danny's whole world is turned upside down that they could both put their egos aside and finally give in to what has been building between them.

Half of Danny wants to relinquish all control over to Steve and let him do whatever he pleases with him. The other half of him wants to run screaming in the other direction and not look back. Feelings, which Danny realizes, can be used to define just about every other aspect of his relationship Steve McGarrett.

A divorce (Danny's especially) can do a funny thing to a person. When he signed those papers to give Rachel back her name, he gave his self worth to her along with it. It's hard for a man to feel good about himself when he's been told by the only person he's ever truly loved that he was never going to be enough. But with Steve, Danny had just begun to show him all the things he felt for his partner and yet Steve seemed completely satisfied (and maybe even slightly overwhelmed) with what he had received. It was kind of a mind fuck for Danny to go from one lover finding him inadequate to another thinking they were barely worthy of his devotion and love.

As he's waiting for his bag, Danny remembers his promise to call Steve and so he pulls out his phone and hits #1 on his speed dial (when did that happen? Danny couldn't even remember when Steve surpassed Rachel on his speed dial but it feels like an important detail that should have required more thought but-like everything else with Steve-he had clearly done it without even thinking twice about it).

Steve answers on the second ring and it makes Danny smile. Steve rarely if ever answers before the fourth ring. Making the person on the other line wait until it almost goes to voicemail allows the SEAL to maintain his control over the situation. Danny wonders if Steve does it on purpose or if it's a subconscious thing but it's definitely a habit. So the fact that Steve answers on the second ring and sounds a bit rattled tells Danny that maybe this whole thing has affected his partner just as much if not more.

"Danny? Did you make it alright?" Danny can hear Steve take a breath to calm himself down a little bit.

"Ya everything's good, I'm just waiting for my bag."

"Good. That's good. So are you going to see your parents?"

"Naw, it's late. I'm gonna check into the hotel and then I'll head over in the morning." Danny informs. There's an awkward silence between them until Steve speaks, albeit hesitantly.

"Danny, if you need anything…I'm here." Steve states and something inside Danny's chest loosens.

"Thanks, babe." Danny smiles.

"Goodnight Danno." He can hear the smile in Steve's voice too.

"Goodnight Rambo." Steve's chuckle as he hangs up lingers in Danny's ears and as he's leaving the airport all he can think about is that this just might work after all.


	6. Tough to Swallow

**A/n: **I know this is short but it packs a lot of punch. Also, Danny's sister is named Casey but she is not the same character from my other series. Same name, different character.

_It's always the simplest things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you're looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running but life's on a stroll. This is how God does things-Donald Miller_

* * *

Danny forgot how intuitive women could be.

He was sitting around his parent's dining room table with his baby sister Casey the following morning slowly sipping a cup of coffee that was just a touch too strong for his liking (but for some reason the bitterness seems appropriate so he doesn't complain) and was catching up with her when she asks how things are going.

"How are Grace and Rachel doing?" Casey asks, sipping from her mug (the taste doesn't seem to bother her but she's a nurse and bad coffee and hospitals go hand and hand).

"Grace is growing up way too fast and Rachel is…surprisingly pleasant." Danny says, pulling out his phone to show his sister a recent picture of Grace. It had been taken a few weeks back when he had taken her to the park and Steve had shown up and joined the father and daughter on their picnic.

"Who's that?" She asks, pointing to Steve who happened to be sitting next to Grace in the picture. He was laughing at something Grace had said and Danny couldn't help but think how good Steve looked when he smiled like that.

"That's Steve." Danny replies as if it's obvious.

"Steve?" Casey picks up on the tone in her brother's voice. It's different and yet seemingly familiar to her.

"_What happened to your car?"_

"_Oh that? That was Rachel." _

"He's my partner." Danny shrugs, still not quite catching on.

"And….?"

"And… what?"

"And… you say his name like it means something. Like he's more than just a partner." Danny freezes and begins to wonder how the hell she could pick up on something in a five minute conversation that until about a week Danny didn't even know existed.

"He's my friend." He states, making sure she gets his point. Steve does mean something and is more than just a partner but Danny's not ready for everybody else to know that yet. He's barely ready for Steve to know that yet.

"Okay." Casey relents, getting the message. But there's a glint in her eyes that tells Danny he hasn't heard the last of it from her on the topic. Oh no, not by a long shot. Especially not when he catches her smiling at him with barely contained excitement later that afternoon.

"What? Why are you smiling like that?"

"Nothing." Casey shrugs, still smiling. "It's just that…well, you've spent the entire afternoon talking about Steve and it's just kind of cute, that's all." Danny pointed a finger at his sister.

"Okay, hold up. Number one, I was NOT talking constantly about Steve and two even if I was, it was NOT cute." He insists but Casey's smile remains.

"Um, yes you were and yes it was. It's like you've got a little crush."

"Stop, just stop alright? I do NOT have a crush on Steve." _'I've actually fallen so much deeper for the giant freak._ He thinks to himself.

"Oh I think you do. Remember you're talking to a girl who knows a lot about having crushes on boys."

Danny rolls his eyes and suppresses a groan for show but in his mind all he can do is go back over the last few hours. Did he really just spend it talking about his giant SEAL freak of a partner? His sister had asked him how life was in Hawaii and if work was going alright so it was perfectly reasonable to have talked about Steve considering he is a huge part of both those things. But somewhere in the conversation he had stopped talking about Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett and started jabbing on about Steve, his best friend. The man who had ensconced himself into every aspect of Danny life without asking permission or apologizing for the intrusion. The man who somehow made everything-even the extremely fucked up things like his brother running away with a drug lord's money-make sense.

After leaving the airport and heading to his partner's house, he didn't want answers from Steve, he wanted comfort. But as he laid in that giant bed staring at Steve's beautiful body in the moonlit shadows, he realized he'd gotten answers anyways. Matt was gone but Steve was still there and the only explanation he could find (and really it was a shitty conclusion to come to) was that there wasn't enough room for both of them in his life. Matt had to go so Steve could stay. And damn if that wasn't a tough pill to swallow.


	7. Time Out

**A/n: **Yay I finally get back the rights to my own brain for a little while. I have a pretty good idea where I want this story to go and even have a possible sequel in mind but I don't want to get too ahead of myself. Enjoy!

_Worry is like a rocking chair—it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.-anonymous_

* * *

It's been over a week since Danny had called Steve from the airport and the SEAL has yet to hear back from his partner. When a couple of days had passed without another call, Steve had figured that Danny was probably busy catching up with his family and dealing with the drama and was too busy to give him a quick call. But after a week with no word from the detective Steve couldn't help but wonder if maybe this trip was Danny's opportunity to bow out gracefully from whatever they had started and save face. It's this thought alone that robs Steve of sleep for many nights because he was falling further and further for Danny and the thought of having to go back to the way things were before makes his chest hurt with an ache that won't go away.

He's been in a miserable mood all week because of these darks thoughts and if Chin and Kono have caught on (which he's pretty sure they have by the looks they give him every time Danny's name is mentioned) they aren't saying. Steve is both grateful and not about the impending weekend because getting away from work and the office where Danny's absence is most noticeable is a good thing but having to face the weekend alone in his house where his partner's absence is most felt is depressing. So when his phone rings mid afternoon on Friday, Steve is not prepared for who was on the other line.

"Rachel?"

"Uh yes, Commander McGarrett-"

"Please, call me Steve." He insists.

"Alright, Steve. This might sound a little crazy and if you say no I'll completely understand but I have a favor to ask of you." Rachel starts. Steve can hear the unease in her voice.

"Sure, what do you need?" He agrees and then wonders why. Maybe it's because it's what Danny would do.

"I need a babysitter for Grace." She declares. "I completely forgot that Stan and I have benefit to attend on the big island and well, this was supposed to be Danny's weekend with Grace….."

"I'll do it." Steve says, not needing to know anymore. He would do anything for Danny, even if it meant helping out his ex-wife. Not to mention the fact that he absolutely adores Grace and loves how much she reminds him of her father (which was probably secretly another reason why he agrees-he misses his partner _that_ much)

"Oh Steve that's very kind of you. I should tell you though that Stan and I will be gone overnight-"

"Rachel, it's not a problem. I'll pick Grace up this afternoon." Steve says. And at 3pm as promised, he's pulling his truck into the Edward's driveway. Rachel opens the door and looks at him in surprise.

"How did you get through the gate?" She asks.

"The code is still Grace's birthday." Steve shrugs but remembers how much that fact bugs Danny and how he chastises her every time about it. Rachel looks at him for a moment before calling for Grace who comes flying out the door, overnight bag in hand.

"Bye mom."

Rachel bends down and gives her daughter a kiss on the check and a quick hug with a reminder to be good before watching her walk towards Steve who can't help but think about how different hers and Danny's parenting styles are. Rachel is loving but still seemingly distant from her child whereas nothing else in the world seems to matter to Danny when Grace is in his presence. It makes Steve just slightly jealous.

The ride from the mansion to Steve's beach house is silent. Usually when the two interact, Danny is there as a bridge between them but Danny's not there and the void is noticeable.

"Steve?" Grace finally asks as they're getting out of the truck.

"Yes Grace?"

"Did Uncle Matt go away because of me?" She asks and Steve can see the slightest tremble in her bottom lip and it makes him want to scoop the girl up in his arms and hug her until the trembling stops but-just like with her father- he isn't sure where he stands with Grace so he settles for kneeling down to her level and takes one of her little hands.

"No, Gracie. What would make you think that?"

"Well Danno was kind of mad at Uncle Matt for buying me lots of stuff and spending lots of time with me and not him, so I thought that maybe Danno made him go away because of that." Grace explains with such childlike innocence that Steve has to blink a few times to clear his vision.

"No, Grace. Danno didn't make your Uncle Matt go away."

"Then why did he leave?" Grace looks at him with her big brown eyes and Steve can't help but think to himself _'Damn it Danny, you're supposed to be having this conversation with her. You're better at this than me' _but at the moment Grace is looking at him for answers, so Steve does the best that he can.

"Your Uncle did something that he wasn't supposed to do and because of that he has to go away for a little while until he's not in trouble anymore." He explains simply.

"Like a time out?" Grace asks, relating his explanation to the only thing her eight year old mind could think of. _Oh it's so much more complicated than that_. Steve thinks to himself but he nods to her anyways.

"Yes Gracie. Like a time out."

"Is Danno having a time out too?" She asks, once again throwing Steve for a loop.

"No, Danno's not having a time out." Grace seems to visibly relax but its brief because while her Danno may not be in trouble, he still far away which just doesn't seem right in her young mind. "He had to go back to New Jersey to see your grandparents and aunts and uncles because they're all sad that Uncle Matt is having a time out in a really far away corner." Steve explains. He couldn't bring himself to tell Grace that Danny had gone home to New Jersey because he wanted Hawaii to be his home now.

"Oh. When's he going to come back?"

"I don't know." Steve admits, shrugging his shoulders. Grace frowns and looks down at her shoes.

"I miss him." She whispers like it's a secret she wasn't suppose to tell.

"I miss him too." Steve said. "What do you say we go inside and try to call him on his cell? I bet he'd really like to talk to you." He offered and was rewarded with a genuine smile.

Steve would never admit it but Grace was exactly the excuse that he was looking for to call Danny. The SEAL and the little girl settle in on the couch where Steve pulls out his phone and hits #1 on his speed dial. The phone rings four times before being picked up.

"Hello?" A female voice answers and Steve has to double check the screen to make sure he dialed correctly. Grace, however, has no problem identifying the voice.

"Aunt Casey!" She squeals.

"Gracie!" The other woman exclaims. "I'm so happy to hear your voice. I've missed you so much." Her voice flooded with a relieved joy that Steve's heard in Danny's voice many times.

"I missed you too. Where's Danno?" There's silence on the other end for a second and Steve's heart starts to race a little.

"He just went out for a walk." Casey finally replies. Steve can hear it in her voice that she's trying to be neutral but there's a slight quiver in her tone that gives her away that again is oddly similar to Danny. "But tell me what you've been doing? What's it like living in Hawaii?"

The question is not only a stall tactic but a distraction and a good one at that because Grace is catching her aunt up on her new life while Steve is wondering what could have possibly possessed his partner to take off without his phone. Danny always carried his phone with him and it was always charged in case-he or Grace-need him. After a few minutes, Steve hears his name and forces his attention back to the conversation that's taking place between the two Williams women.

"Hey Gracie, can I talk to Steve alone for a minute?" Casey asks. Grace agrees and Steve sends her outside with instructions not to go in the water. "You're Danny's partner, right?"

"Ya." He confirms.

"I thought so. I'm Casey, Danny's youngest sister…. He talks about you a lot you know. Calls you a crazy Neanderthal animal with no respect for proper police procedure who insists upon trying to corrupt his Gracie with pineapples and surfing." Casey informs. Steve rolls his eyes.

"That sounds like him."

"That's just his way of saying you're a good person who he trusts with his and Gracie's lives and that you're important to him. Danny only rants about the people he loves." She adds leaving Steve to wonder just how much Danny has really told his family about him.

"What's going on? It's not like Danny to take off without his phone." Steve questions, trying not to sound too concerned.

"It's been a rough day. A couple of FBI agents stopped by the house today. It upset my mother which then of course upset Danny. Things got a little heated and Danny needed time to cool off. I'm sure he'll be back soon." Casey explains and its more than Steve expected.

"What do you mean that things got heated between Danny and the FBI?"

"The FBI was making accusations, calling Danny an accomplice and threatening him with obstruction of justice charges. Danny told them that they had no proof and that he'd told the same thing to the agents in Hawaii….. Steve, I know my brother and I can tell when he's hiding something. Do you have any idea what happened between him and Matt?" Casey asks, her tone desperate.

Steve is torn. Danny's family deserves to know the truth about what happened with Matt but at the same time he doesn't know all the details and there must have been some reason why Danny didn't tell them to his family so he decides to play dumb.

"I'm sorry Casey. I don't know anything. I wasn't with him the whole time." He says with a sigh.

"It's alright, it's just that…Danny's so damn stubborn. He thinks because he's a cop and the oldest child that he has to protect all of us all the time. But we're not kids anymore." Casey says, her voice filled with disappointment as she sighes. "Thank you, Steve. I'll tell Danny that you called as soon as he gets back and I'll have him call you back. I promise." She insists. The two say their goodbyes and Steve stares at his phone for a second before heading out to where Grace is in the back yard.

As he watches the little girl play, Steve silently curses himself and his partner. He should have gone with Danny to the airport. Maybe if he had, he could have saved him and his family all this pain. Maybe if he had gone with his partner to provide back up, he could have saved Danny from himself.


	8. Walking a Fine Line

**A/n: **aren't you all so lucky that I have all this spare time on my hands now? I promise this one's a little happier than the last.

_When you love someone, you'll sacrifice. Give it everything you've got and you won't think twice. You'll risk it all, no matter what may come. –Bryan Adams, When You Love Someone_

* * *

The good thing about Danny being back home is that his mind can simply run on auto pilot as soon as he walks out the door. He pulls the keys to the rental out of his pocket and gets in with no particular destination in mind. He just needed to get away and calm down before he could explain anything to his family who he knew had questions. Danny had only told them that Matt had gotten in some trouble with his business and that he had left to take care of things. He left out the indictment and the drug lord's money knowing that it would only further upset his mother who was already in a delicate emotional state. They had believed him-well most of them believed him. He could see in his youngest sister's eyes that she knew there was more to the story. Casey always could read him like a book.

When Danny saw the black SUV pull up in front of his parent's house his jaw had clenched in rage.

"_What the hell are you doing here?" Danny hissed as he slammed the front door closed._

"_Detective, we just need to ask your parents a few questions-" The lead agent explains patiently._

"_Why? My parents have nothing to do with this, alright? I will not let you harass them while you try to cover your asses." Danny insisted._

"_Detective, this isn't personal-"_

"_Really? I can't believe you're able to say that with a straight face. There is no reason for you to be questioning my parents. They are not involved." Danny repeated._

"_Williams, for as much as you talk, you should make sure you know your facts before you open your mouth." The other agent, the younger and cockier one, spoke up._

"_What the hell did you just say to me?" Danny said, turning towards the other agent._

"_I said you need to check your facts. Your parents have been funneling money to your brother for months. They've taken out numerous loans from the bank and put a second mortgage on the house. They're broke while your brother's living a high life lie. And yet you want to protect him." The cocky one accused. It took all of Danny's restraint not to punch him in the face. _

"_Look Detective, we know things are complicated when family is involved but you're a cop, you know how this goes. We need to follow up on all possible angles even if they're dead ends and if you keep us from doing our job I'll have no choice but you charge you with obstruction." The older detective added. Danny rolled his eyes._

"_Look boys, as you just pointed out I am a cop. I know how this whole good cop-bad cop routine works and let me tell you that your technique sucks. I won't break. I have a Super SEAL partner who is a far scarier bad cop than your punk ass, so turn around, get back in your SUV and leave my family alone." Danny demanded. _

"_I've heard about you and your partner, and let __**me**__ tell __**you **__something: being the Governor's pet will not save you from accomplice charges. If I find out that you told your brother about the indictment and helped him get away, I will hunt down you and your partner and the Governor will not be able to save you." The younger agent said, getting in Danny's face. Danny, for his part, did his best impression of his bad assed partner._

"_Get the hell away from me." _

Danny runs one hand through his hair while the other rested on the steering wheel. This whole mess was getting more and more complicated. And as much as he hates to admit it, Danny needs Steve. He needs his shoot-first-ask-questions-later partner to swoop in and take control like he had that night after the airport. He needs to feel Steve's presence, confident and strong, reassuring him that everything is going to be okay as long as he just trusts him. He needs Steve's rationality (and isn't that a kicker?) to talk him off the fine line he's walking with the FBI. Steve said he would protect him, but Danny sure isn't making it an easy task.

* * *

Casey is waiting on the front porch when he pulls back up in front of the house late that night. She's frowning with her arms folded across her chest as she watches him walk up the lawn.

"Uh oh, I know that look. What did I do now?" Danny tries to joke but it fails. Casey has perfected their mother's signature stare, the one that can put the fear of God into any child, and Danny can't help but squirm a little under the heat of it.

"You forgot your phone." Casey says, holding the device out to him.

"Oh." Danny says dumbly. He's pretty sure that's not the only reason that she's mad at him.

"Steve and Grace called looking for you." She informs and Danny's heart sinks a little. He hadn't spoken to his daughter or his partner in days and the thought of missing their call just adds another layer of guilt to his already heavy shoulders.

"They called together?" Danny asks, looking at his call history only finding Steve's number.

"Steve is apparently watching her for the night." Casey shrugs. Danny raises an eyebrow and starts to ask her another question but she holds up a hand. "Call him Danny. He's worried about you…they both are." Casey stands and walks back into the house leaving Danny alone.

His fingers hovering over the number for a moment before he dials and waits for an answer.

"Danny?" Steve answers on the second ring.

"Why do you have my child?" Danny asks, getting right down to business because that's how he and Steve work. No pretense, no gimmicks-just facts and occasionally feelings.

"Stan and Rachel had a benefit on the big island and-"

"-and this was supposed to be my weekend with Grace." Danny cuts him off with a sigh. "Please tell me you are not corrupting my sweet little girl."

"Of course not….. I just showed her a few ways to incapacitate someone with her pinky." Steve says deadpan which Danny hates because it's Steve and he just never knows when the fool is being completely serious or sarcastic.

"Please for the love of god tell me you are kidding."

"Yes Danny, I'm kidding. We ate take out and she cleaned me out in poker." They were going to order pizza but it just wouldn't have been the same without Danny there to complain about it so they ordered Chinese instead.

"She's good like that. Is she around?" Danny asks. The sound of his little girl's voice right now would do wonders for him.

"She's crashed out on the couch right now. I can wake her-"

"No, that's alright let her sleep." He says, trying not to sound disappointed.

"How are things going?" Steve asks after a minute of silence.

Danny hesitates for a second, torn between blowing him off and telling him every last detail. So he settles for somewhere in the middle. He tells Steve about the FBI visit ('trust me babe, you're way scarier than them') and how Matt has apparently been taking advantage of his parents. Steve listens patiently, allowing Danny to rant before stepping in with his calm but serious advice.

"Danny, be careful with the FBI. Those guys can make your life hell and have more power than you think. I'll protect you but you have to keep your head about you. You can't swat at the wasps nest and expect not to get stung." Steve says. Danny can hear the worry and concern in his partner's voice and it makes the lump in his throat a little easier to swallow.

"So essentially you're telling me not to be you?" Danny jokes and Steve laughs a little. Their conversation strays into less stressful topics such as Grace and how things are going at work. Danny's sitting back on the bench, relaxed, when Steve throws him a curveball question.

"What does your sister look like?"

"My sister?" Danny repeats, confused.

"Ya,I talked to Casey earlier on the phone. What does she look like?" Steve asks again.

"What are you bored with me already and want to move on to another member of the Williams clan? Sorry to burst your bubble Steven but she's happily married to a lawyer who surprisingly I don't hate." Danny says, suddenly defensive.

"I'm not interested in her sexually. I just want to know if she looks like you 'cause she sure sounds like you." Steve explains but Danny is still confused.

"You wanna know if Casey looks like me?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?" Steve says, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Until you start making sense, yes. Does Casey look like me? I don't know. She's a few inches shorter than me, think but not anorexic with blue eyes and dark red hair. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes…. Can I meet her some day?" Another curveball.

"Meet her? Seriously Steve, what the hell are you playing at?"

"Nothing! It's just that you never talk about your family. I didn't even know that you had sisters until a couple of weeks ago." Steve says, getting defensive himself.

"What does it matter?"

Steve couldn't help but feel like he'd been punched in the gut. What did it matter? It matters a hell of a lot. Not only for their partnership but it mattered if anything was going to work between them romantically.

"Really? Are you seriously asking me that? Danny you know everything about my family and my past and all the McGarrett dirty secrets and yet I don't even know your parents' first names. How am I supposed to be with someone who doesn't think it's important to share even the most basic details of his life with his partner?" Steve exclaims.

Danny feels like an ass because-damn-his partner was right. It's also exactly the kind of thing that he would get on Steve's case about. Partnership is supposed to be about sharing and so far, it's been a one sided conversation.

"Steve I'm sorry, alright? You're right it does matter and I shouldn't keep things from you. It's just that, well, it's hard to talk about my family because I miss them so much it hurts sometimes. I don't want to go rub my family in your face when I know that even the mention of your mom or dad puts that kicked puppy look on your face and I HATE that look. I do my best to make sure that look goes the fuck away. So I guess I thought by not talking about my family I was protecting you from unnecessary pain." He explains honestly.

"Aw Danny you don't have to protect me-" Steve starts.

"Yes I do. I'm your partner and it has become my mission whether I choose to accept it or not to save you from yourself."

"That's funny because I was just thinking the same thing about you." Steve replies and Danny shakes his head.

"That's scary." Danny states.

"What?"

"The thought of having the same thinking pattern as you. You're mind is a frighten place, Steven McGarrett." Danny jokes and Steve laughs for real this time.

"It's got to be late there, Danny. I should let you go." Steve says and Danny yawns instinctively.

"Ya I think it's time to put this day behind me." Danny agrees and then before Steve can say goodbye he adds. "Hey Steve?"

"Ya?"

"My mother's name is Maggie and my father is Charlie."

Danny couldn't see it over the phone but he could just imagine the smile on Steve's face.


	9. Dancing in the Dark

**A/n: **Here I give you guys a nice happy ending the last time and now I come back with a downer. I need some happy pills to level out my moods, geez lol. A little warning for some adult language.

_Messages keep getting clearer, radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place. I check my look in the mirror, wanna change my clothes my hair my face. Man I ain't getting nowhere, I'm just living in a dump like this. There's something happening somewhere, baby I just know there is. –Bruce Springsteen, Dancing in the Dark_

* * *

Danny woke up early. While his conversation with Steve had helped to calm him down and refocus his mind some, it had also confused him more on his feelings for his partner and what it all meant. Steve had told him that they would figure things out when he got back to Hawaii but it was getting harder to focus when thoughts of the SEAL kept infiltrating Danny's mind.

It scared Danny to know how much he relied on and needed the other man. A fact that he didn't even realize until Steve wasn't there with him, filling in where he was lacking and backing off where Danny shined. There was only one conclusion to come to and the power behind it kept him up most of the night—Danny and Steve were falling in love with each other and there was no going back for either of them.

The rest of the family was still asleep when Danny quietly crept down the stairs. A pot of coffee had already been started when he reached the kitchen. Looking out the window by the table, he could see his youngest sister sitting out of the back porch swing with a mug of coffee and a cigarette. Danny pours himself a cup and heads out to her.

"What are you doing out here?" He asks as he closes the door.

"I couldn't sleep." Casey responses, looking out over the yard. She has the same tone in her voice as she did last night and Danny can't help but wonder if he's responsible for it.

"Are you pissed at me?" Danny asks as he stands next to the swing. Casey looks over at him and then back at the spot in the yard she had been staring at, taking a long pull at her cigarette.

"Yes, I am pissed at you." She confirms, her voice rough and Danny can't tell if it's because of the rage or the tears that she's trying to suppress. "You're not telling me the whole story and I can't for the life of me figure out why not. You've been walking around with a guilty look on your face since you got here and I don't fucking know why but it's freaking me out, making me think that you've done something too and I'm going to end up losing both my brothers."

Casey is trying to best to keep herself from screaming and Danny can see it in the way that she clenches her jaw. He carefully sits down next to her and places his hands in his lap. He doesn't know what to say to her. The truth is complicated and he's not sure he can burden her with it, but at the same time he knows he can't keep the details secret forever. Casey is the safest person (besides Steve) for him to tell so he sighs and bows his head, unable to look at her while he speaks.

"The reason the FBI was here the other day is because Matt is facing a federal indictment. He's screwed up some of his investments and made things worse trying to fix it. He came to see me in Hawaii so that he could get cash from a drug lord he'd been laundering money for and get away before they got him….. I found Matt at the airport boarding a private jet. He had a suitcase full of the drug lord's cash and was planning to leave the country to go god knows where. I pointed my weapon at him….and I threatened to shoot him….but I let him go instead." He admits. Danny can't look his sister in the eye and see the disappointment and disgust in her eyes.

"That stupid bastard is lucky that it was you holding the gun because I would have shot his ass." Casey replies definitely as she rubs out her cigarette in the ashtray. Danny picks his head back up and looks at her. Instead of judgment in her eyes, he sees anger-not for him-but for their brother.

"You don't blame me for this?" He asks, confused by her response.

"Blame you?"Casey exclaims. "Why would I blame you? You didn't do anything wrong! None of this was your fault, Danny. This all falls solely on Matt. All you did was try to help." She explains, bewilderment taking over the fear on her face. "Is that what this was all about? Why you looked so guilty? You think that it was your fault that he got away?"

"I'm his big brother-"

"Oh my god, Daniel," Casey runs her hands through her hair. "You can't save everybody. I know it goes against your mentality as a cop but it's the truth. You can't always catch the bad guy."

"He's not a bad guy, he's our brother." Danny insists.

"Who knowingly committed a crime, therefore making him a criminal." Casey explains. She can still see the guilt in her big brother's eyes and she has to bite her tongue to keep from screaming. "You have to let this go, Danny. Otherwise you are going to kill yourself trying to figure out where you went wrong and how you could have done things differently. The truth is that there is nothing you could have done."

"I told him I would help him. That we'd fly back here and try to deal with the indictment, and he told me he'd do it. And then he disappeared, forcing my partner to lie to the FBI for me so that I could go track him down. I was just trying to help him."

"God Danny we all tried. We all knew he was having money problems. His company was going down the drain. Audrey and Marcus were doing everything they could to try to save the company but with the economy only getting worse it was only a matter of time before they went belly up. Kris and I didn't have any money to give him but Kris offered him a job at his law firm. It wasn't a great job but it was enough for him to get by with. And he snubbed his nose at all of us. You can't save someone who won't save themselves." Casey explains. She looks over at Danny and still sees the tension in his shoulders. "Something's still bothering you and it's not about Matt…it's about Steve isn't it?"

"Oh Casey will you lay off-"

"No I won't, because he's is involved whether you like it or not. He gives a damn about you. I could hear it in his voice how concerned he was about you and it was more than just a friend worrying about his buddy. So what's going on between you two?" Casey demands.

"I went to him after Matty left…. and somehow he made everything okay again…. Matty was gone but Steve was there and somehow that was alright, like he replaced the void that Matt left and that's _not_ okay." Danny insists.

"Why not?"

"Because it's like I can't have both of them in my life! If I choose Steve then I lose Matt…. and god knows what else." He mutters.

"You think that if you're in a relationship with Steve, you can no longer have your family?" Casey asks, sounding confused.

"It's complicated-"

"No it's not. You're making it complicated." She accuses.

"Look, I have a daughter and an ex-wife. Pretty damning evidence that I'm straight and yet, I have feelings for my male partner that feel an awful lot like love and around the time that I finally start admitting to myself that maybe these feelings are okay, this whole mess happens. So please explain to me, how I cannot see Matt's disappearance as a sign that maybe my feelings are wrong?" Danny snaps, standing up quickly as he tries not to spill his coffee.

"You are fucked in the head, you know that right?" Casey looks at Danny and pulls out another cigarette from the pack. "This man cares about you, possibly even loves and instead of embracing this, you're going to run from it." Casey lit her cigarette with a shake of her head. "You of all people should understand how hard it is to find someone who truly loves and cares about you. Don't be stupid and screw this up, Danny."

* * *

Danny doesn't know why he ends up outside of his and Rachel's old house but it seems appropriate. After all, if it wasn't for his marriage falling apart then Danny would have never left New Jersey and would have never known the insanity that is Steve McGarrett. The little two bedroom in Weehawken had been as close to a dream coming true as Danny had ever experienced. He and Rachel had saved for months and it wasn't until he had been promoted to Detective that they could afford the down payment for the ranch style house on the quiet street. He could still remember the look on Rachel's face when they were moving in. She had seemed so happy at the time. If only he could have known how it was all going to end.

Seeing the old house again just depressed Danny more about his tiny one bedroom apartment back in Hawaii. It was especially pitiful in comparison to Rachel's mansion but Grace never seemed to mind the size difference between her parent's homes.

"_That's because whatever you lack in material goods, you make up for in love and attention." _

Steve had told him once during one of their late night beer session in his backyard when Danny had been feeling particularly bad about himself after another fight with Rachel. Steve always had a way of making Danny seem like a better father than he felt sometimes and he knew it had something to do with Steve's relationship with his own father. He knew his partner was right but it didn't make the feelings of inadequacy go away. He wanted to be able to give everything that Grace wanted and when he brought her home from the hospital to this house that he would be able to. Now, he realizes that it was all just wishful thinking.

A new family lives in the house now. Danny can see a little boy riding around on a tricycle while his mother works in the garden. The father is nowhere to be seen and Danny wants to find the man and shake him to make him realize what he's missing. He wants to make him understand that whatever he's doing couldn't possibly be more important than playing catch with his little boy or holding his wife tightly in his arms. He wants to tell the man all these things because he knows first hand what happens when you don't. But instead, he starts the car and drives away.


	10. Always On Your Side

**A/n: **Okay I really like this chapter. I'm glad I took the time to think it all through and let it just come instead of forcing it.

_Sometimes those we've known for a short period of time have a bigger impact on us than the ones we've known forever-anonymous_

* * *

Steve was restless. Ever since his conversation with Danny about his encounter with the FBI he had been unable to wind himself down. He had gone for a long swim and an even longer run in attempt to try to release some of his pent up energy but by the time he made it into the office Monday morning, he was back to pacing his office like a caged animal.

His partner needed him. Danny wouldn't come right out and admit it but he needed Steve. The SEAL could tell by the tone in the other man's voice that things were not right with him.

"_You say I have a face? You my friend have a tone."_

Steve hated that tone. It was the one that warned him that Danny was about two steps from going off the ledge. It was a tone that signaled to Steve that he was failing to keep things in control. And as clichéd as it was, to Steve McGarrett, failure was not an option.

Because when the two of them fail at something, it's never a minor consequence. It's a life altering disaster. People get hurt –people _die_—when Steve and Danny fail and the one thought that haunts both of them is that there may come a time when one of them fails the other, a consequence neither of them is willing to face.

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep up that pacing." Chin comments. Steve looks up, not even realizing the other man was there. "Everything alright?"

"Yes…no…I don't know. It's Danny." Steve starts not even sure what to tell Chin.

"Ah I see." Chin says with that knowing look and Steve can't help but wonder how the man can always have that glint in his eye that says he knows more than you do without it coming off as condescending. "He in trouble or something?"

"No, but he's about to be if he doesn't learn to keep his mouth shut." Steve mutters.

He's angry—has been since this whole mess went down. Angry at Matthew Williams for playing on his older brother's loyalty to escape punishment, angry at the FBI for being their typical bastard selves and harassing his partner whom he was also angry at for being so damn tough all the time. Danny liked to accuse him of being a lone wolf but that was merely a case of the pot calling the kettle black because as Steve was beginning to realize, when the times get tough, Danny Williams shuts down.

"Maybe it's time to plan a little pre-emptive strike? Get to his enemies before his enemies get to him?" Chin suggests and Steve stops mid stride.

"Chin that's it." Steve says with what Danny likes to refer to as his 'ah ha!' face.

"What's it?" Chin asks, slightly worried about what McGarrett suddenly has up his sleeve. He'd never hear the end of it from Danny if he found out he gave his partner the idea for something insane.

"I need to make a phone call." Steve declares, rushing to his desk and grabbing his cell, flipping through the contacts until he finds the right one. "Chin, thank you."

"No problem brah." Chin gives a little wave before giving Steve some privacy.

"May Day? It's Smooth Dog. Listen, I need a favor…."

* * *

"You're not going to like this." Audrey declares, looking up at Danny as he comes down stairs after his shower.

"What?" He ask, though his mind is telling him not to, that he should just stop, turn around and go back to bed because seriously, how many more times can he start the day dealing with shit before he snaps?

"The FBI is back." Audrey says cautiously as if she's expecting him to explode at her. Danny clenches his jaw and fists and takes the rest of the stairs two at a time. Audrey steps aside and points towards the front room where a hulking man in a suit is standing by the window.

"You let him in the house?" Danny hisses as he passes his sister.

"I couldn't be rude and leave him out of the front step." She replies. Danny just frowns and trudges into the room.

"To what do I owe the displeasure of a repeat visit from the FBI? Did you guys not get enough of my stunning personality yesterday?" Danny says in place of a formal greeting. The agent has the audacity to smile at him.

"Detective Williams? I'm Agent Mason." The man extends a beefy arm towards Danny which he ignores and instead crosses his arms across his chest. Mason chuckles. "Relax, Detective. I come in peace." He says as he held up both hands, palms facing out.

"Look, I told the other two idiots yesterday and I'll tell you the same thing-leave my family—"

"Detective!" Agent Mason interrupts. "I'm not here to cause trouble for you and your family. I'm here as a favor to a friend." He explains.

"And what 'friend' would that be?"

"Lt. Commander Steven McGarrett." Agent Mason states with a knowing smile and a little of the fight goes out of Danny.

"Steve called you?'

"Yes sir." Mason nods. Danny takes another, more detailed look at the man in front of him and suddenly the crew cut hair and muscles threatening to bust through his suit sleeves makes sense.

"Let me guess? You're one of his old SEAL buddies?" Mason nods. "Well, forgive me if I'm not real trusting considering the last time one of 'Smooth Dog's' friends showed up he tried to kill us." Danny explains.

"Ya I heard about Taylor." Mason says forlorn. "But for what my word is worth, there was always something just this side of wrong about him." He admits and Danny narrows his eyes. The comment earns the agent a little trust with the Detective.

"So what exactly did Steve tell you?" Danny asks, curious as to why his partner is involved in this now.

"Said he needed a favor. And I'm not inclined to say no when McGarrett asks for help because as I'm sure you're well aware, it doesn't happen often." Mason gave Danny a look and the Jersey boy couldn't help but nod in agreement. "What I came here to tell you is that the FBI has a cease and desist to not pursue any further investigation into you or your parents regarding the embezzlement of funds from Matthew Williams company." Mason declares officially.

"And Matt? What about the indictment against him?"

"Sorry, Detective. The charges against your brother still stand. I did what I could but I don't have that kind of power." Mason says, almost seemingly disappointed in his failure.

Danny on the other hand feels slightly relieved that Matt isn't getting away with anything. A part of him hates himself for feeling that way but the other, increasingly larger part of him wants to see his brother finally learn his lesson.

"I understand and I appreciate what you've done, I really do." Danny says, unfolding his arms from his chest and extending a hand-a peace offering- to the agent. Mason smiles and accepts the handshake. He gives Danny his card with the offer of his assistance in the further should he need it. The two men walk to the door and Mason stops just before stepping out.

"I won't _ask _what kind of relationship you and McGarrett have but I can _tell _you that it's pretty special. McGarrett has never had a partner before. He's worked with teams but he's never had a designated partner. Always thought he had too many control issues to ever have one, especially for any length of time. You're a lucky man, Williams." Mason comments with a shrug. He's half way out the do before he remembers something and stops. "Oh and tell him next time you talk to him that May Day says this one's on the house." Danny rolls his eyes.

"What is with the nicknames? Smooth Dog? May Day?" Mason just smiles at Danny.

"It's a term of endearment. You only get a nickname if the guys like you. Otherwise, the guys don't care enough to bother." He explains before stepping out the door, leaving Danny for once with more answers than questions about his partner.

* * *

"You called your buddy in the FBI?"

Danny asks later that night during what has become his and Steve's nightly phone call. He thought his first few days back home that he needed space from his partner to figure everything out but after their conversation a few nights ago, Danny realized the only thing that the space gave him was a lonely feeling where there didn't used to be one.

"I told you I would protect you." Steve reminds him.

"I don't need protection-" Danny starts.

"Really? Because from what I've heard you were about one altercation away from being charged with obstruction." Steve jumps in with his tone that reminds Danny far too much of his father's.

"From what you've heard? How can you have heard anything? You aren't here!" Danny exclaims.

He's picking a fight and he knows it. Steve does too because it's what they do. They pick fights to see where the line is, the one that once you cross you can't go back. So far they haven't even come close to finding it.

"Do I need to be? Because seriously, you say the word and I'll be on the next plane to New Jersey." Steve states and Danny knows that his partner is dead serious.

"I can handle this on my own." Danny declares.

"But you don't have to." Steve points out, sounding slightly exasperated. "I'm your partner, Danny. And I'd be a pretty shitty one to not do whatever I can to help you even when you think you don't need it. How many times have you done exactly the same thing for me?"

"Alright, I get your point Steven." Danny states, trying to calm Steve down who he can tell is getting worked up. "It's just…I'm not used to this."

"Used to what?"

"I'm not used to someone being willing to help get me through something. That's always been my role. I'm the problem solver. The one everyone goes to when the shit hits the fan. No one's ever stood beside me and said 'we'll get through this together'." Danny explains softly.

"Ya well that was before you met me." Steve declares, his tone equally subdued. There's quiet between the two of them for a minute as the words sink in.

Danny can hear papers rustling in the background. He looks at the clock. It's 11pm in New Jersey which means that it's about 5pm back in Hawaii. Steve must have been getting ready to leave for the day…or at least he should be. It was a strict rule within the 5-0 that unless they were on an urgent case, quitting time was 5pm-no exceptions. It was a rule that Danny made sure Steve followed to try to keep him from obsessing- for whatever good it did. Most nights, Steve just went home and obsessed over things, something Danny was determined to change.

"You leave yet?" Danny asks knowing damn well that his partner hasn't. The paper rustling stops.

"I just have a few more things to finish up." Steve insists. Danny rolls his eyes.

"Go home, Steven. It'll all be there to tomorrow when you get back. Maybe if you're lucky, it'll be like Mr. Hoppy and multiply rapidly throughout the night." Steve laughs and Danny can hear the creak of his chair moving across the tile floors.

"Alright, you win. I'm leaving." Steve announces.

"Thank you." Danny replies. "And thank you for pulling some strings with your buddy. It makes me feel better to know that the FBI won't be harassing my parents after I leave." He says sincerely.

"You're welcome."

"Oh and 'May Day' wanted me to tell you that this one is on the house…..why the hell is he May Day? That doesn't exactly sound like a good nickname to have." Danny comments as he hears Steve start the truck (a fact he saves away for a later conversation. Danny leaves him the car for free use without complaint and _now _he decides to drive his own vehicle).

"May Day's the guy you call when the shit hits the fan." Steve laughs but offers no other explanation.

Danny sighs, resigning himself to the fact that there are something's that Steve's just never going to tell him and as long as that is the worst that he keeps from him, Danny's pretty sure he can live with that.

"Well, it's late here and your driving is bad enough without you being distracted so I'm going to let you go."

"Alright," Steve sighs. It reminds Danny of Grace when he tells her it's time for bed when she really wants to stay up. "Hey, when are you coming back?...I mean, you are coming back right?"

"Yes Steven. I am coming back, the day after tomorrow." Danny almost slips up and says 'coming home' but he catches himself at the last minute.

"Oh, good. Well, let me know the flight info and I'll pick you up at the airport." Steve offers. "Goodnight, Danno."

Danny lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding as soon as he hears Steve say it. After Mason's little explanation, Steve's use of Grace's nickname for him doesn't bother him so much. It's his partner's way of showing that he cares about Danny and that Danny is important to Steve. It's why he can't help but smile when he replies.

"Goodnight Smooth Dog."


	11. It's Been a Long Week

**A/N: **Okay let me start with my disclaimer. There is a brief reference to the Catholic church in this chapter and I just want to say that I am not Catholic and I am not trying to bash the Catholic faith I am simply stating a known stance of theirs on the issues of homosexuality so please don't hate me. I get the feeling that Danny comes from a good Irish Catholic family (I say Irish because Williams is an Irish sirname) and I just feel that this mother would be a good Catholic woman. Anyways, my other point is that yes I know in a previous chapter I had stated that Casey's husband (Kris) is a lawyer-which is still true-but he is also a Marine. I plan to explain more about him in a sequel I'm planning to this story if you're interested.

_Tale as old as time, true as it can be. Barely even friends then somebody bends unexpectedly. Just a little change, small to say the least. Both a little scare, neither one prepared.—Beauty and the Beast_

* * *

"So who is Steve?" Audrey asks at dinner later that night. Danny stops, glass frozen half way to his mouth. He stares across the table at Casey.

"It wasn't me, I swear." His younger sister professes with an innocent expression.

"I overheard the conversation you had with the FBI agent this morning." Audrey says in her best motherly voice. "He said he was here as a favor to Steve. So who is he?"

"You were eavesdropping." Danny accuses.

"I didn't realize it was a private conversation. Now stop deflecting the question, _Detective._" His oldest sister demands. Danny sighs.

"Steve is my partner on the 5-0."

"And every other aspect of your life." Casey mutters under her breath. Danny kicks her under the table. "Ow!"

"Daniel is there something else that you need to tell us?" His mother asks. Even in her drug induced haze she can pick up on the unspoken message among her children. Casey looks at her brother with a clear statement written across her face.

'_You tell them or I will.'_

Danny shakes his head and gives her a look to leave it alone but Casey is as tenacious as him and won't drop anything once she sets her mind to something.

"Why not Danny? This is stupid!" She exclaims.

"No it's not. Leave it alone." He hisses through clenched teeth.

"What is going on you two?" Their father demands. Danny sees the look in Casey's eyes a second before she opens her mouth.

"Danny is in love with Steve but he doesn't want to say anything because he's afraid that if he chooses to enter into a relationship with this man that he'll lose his family. I want to prove to him that his fears are unfounded." Casey announces.

Silence fills the room as her words settle upon those seated at the table. Danny, for the first time in awhile, is speechless. His sister has just outed him to their tough guy firefighter of a father and good catholic mother. She has exposed his biggest secret—one that he isn't even sure he's come to terms with actually believe is true himself. Now it's out in the open and Danny doesn't have to look at them to see the look of confusion that he knows is written across their faces (and he doesn't want to see what else might be mixed in because shame, disappoint and anger are just too hard to look at).

"Is this why you and Rachel got divorced? Because you're….gay?" Audrey asks, finally breaking the silence.

"I'm not gay." Danny insists vehemently.

"Danny!" Casey exclaims, her eyes wide in surprise and slight indignation.

"I'm not into guys…..I'm just into Steve." He adds quietly not sure why the distinction is important but it is.

This isn't just about changes preference like favorite ice cream flavor or the type of beer he drinks. It's completely about Steve and everything he is and even what he isn't. Danny doesn't love Steve because he has an attractive face, he loves him because he makes these faces that Danny loves to name because as much as Steve can put on his Super SEAL mask and shut down, his eyes always betray his true emotions. Danny doesn't love Steve because of his body (though the man is built like a freaking Greek god) he loves Steve because his body is a roadmap to a past life that Danny will probably never know about. He doesn't love Steve because Grace loves him, Danny loves him because Steve would die for Grace and never think twice about it. Danny loves Steve for the man that he wants to be—the strongest and bravest man possible—and Danny thinks he loves him more when he's not perfect than when he is. So this isn't just about being with a man, it's about being with Steve for the rest of his life.

"Steve has nothing to do with Rachel and I divorcing. I met him six months after I moved to Hawaii." Danny clarifies for his sister. He didn't want his family's judgment of Steve to be clouded by questions of adultery.

"Daniel are you sure?" His mother whispers, her voice shaky and unsure.

"Am I sure of what? That I love Steve? If it's not love than its something damn close to it. Am I sure this is how I want to live my life? I'm not sure I can live it any other way now. I lived the traditional way with a wife and child and it didn't work out." Danny states.

"But just because it didn't work with Rachel doesn't mean it wouldn't work with some other girl-" Maggie Williams counters.

"Let me rephrase it for you—I don't _want _to live my life any other way now." Danny declares, realizing the weight of the words he's just said.

Danny Williams doesn't want to live without Steve McGarrett in his life. It shouldn't bother him but power behind the statement is a little much to handle at the moment because Danny had vowed to never _need _another person in his life. Needing people can only lead to getting hurt and he'd been hurt enough by his divorce. Leave it to Super SEAL to ruin his plans (the irony of which is not lost on Danny considering Steve never plans _anything_).

"I don't know what to say." Maggie says, staring at her son with watery eyes. "I mean the Church tell us—"

"Seriously? You're bring the Church into this?" Casey interrupts, incredulous at her mother's word.

"Our faith tells us that homosexuality is a sin." Maggie continues and Danny can hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"He's your son!" Casey shouts. "I know the teachings of the Church and follow them but I would rather denounce my faith than denounce my family." She declares. "I've already lost one brother. I won't lose another."

"I'm with Casey." Audrey declares softly. "I won't lose my big brother because of who he's chosen to love." She smiles at her big brother and Danny has to duck his head so they couldn't see the emotions welling in his eyes.

"Mom please say something." Danny asks gently. He knows this isn't easy on his mother and that the timing is not at all perfect because Maggie is barely dealing with Matt's disappearance, now is not the time to spring his life crisis on her but his sister's (and his own) timing has never been perfect.

"I love you Daniel. I just want you to be happy but I just…I don't know what to say." Maggie says, distraught.

"I do." Charlie speaks up and Danny swallows thickly, nervous of his father's reaction.

"You're my son and like your mother I want you to be happy and if this man, Steve, makes you happy…well then you should be with him. Life is too short to be miserable." He explains. Danny can see that it's not easy for his father to say the words but that fact that he did makes Danny's throat swell up.

Danny hadn't been prepared for this conversation with his family tonight but then again he hadn't been prepared to fall in love with Steve McGarrett either.

* * *

Danny sneaks out to the back porch for some time to himself later that night. His head's still swimming from the dinner conversation and he needs a moment to take in everything that's just happened. The back door opens and Danny looks over his shoulder to see his brother-in-law, Kris, walking out the back door with two beers in hand.

"Thought you could use a cold one." He says as he hands Danny a bottle. Danny takes it with a nod and just looks over at Kris as he sits down next to him. "Sorry about Casey. You know how she can be."

"Oh I know." Danny replies with a snort. "She's like a damn dog with a bone when she gets her mind set on something. Especially if she thinks she's right."

"Is she right?" Kris asks, taking a swig of his beer.

"You know she is." Danny answers with a knowing smile.

"Does Steve know?" Danny turns his head to look at his brother-in-law. "What? Just because I'm a Marine doesn't mean that I'm homophobic. I fought in support of the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell." Kris comments. "So, does Steve know how you feel?"

"He knows that the feelings are there." Danny replies with a sigh."How deep they go is a conversation that we have yet to have." He runs a hand over his face.

"Has he expressed any feelings?" Kris inquires. Danny doesn't know what to say. Has Steve expressed feelings? Does sleeping with him count as expressing feelings?

"We haven't had a true conversation about what exactly is going on between us. Steve didn't want me to be distracted while dealing with all of this." Danny explains, waving his hands in a wide sweeping motion.

"Did his plan work?" Kris just looked at him.

"Steve McGarrett's ideas rarely ever go as planned." Danny says with a smile. "But when I get home, him and I are going to have a _very _long talk." Kris looks at Danny with a serious expression on his face. "What?"

"You just called Hawaii home." He informs.

It's another one of those life altering moments that Danny never saw coming. Just like Matt's indictment or his divorce or his realization that he loves Steve McGarrett, they are all singular events that have suddenly changed him from a New Jersey homicide detective with a wife and a daughter to being second in command on the Governor of Hawaii's taskforce and falling hard for his boss. How this became his life, Danny has no idea but this moment, unlike the others, doesn't bring with it a feeling of panic but rather something dangerously close to happiness. Danny looks at his brother-in-law and smiles.

"Ya, I guess I did."


	12. Finally Ready to Be Here

**A/n: **Well, this is it folks. We have reached the end of this story and I hope you have all enjoyed it. I've actually had the ending to this planned out a long time ago and it was the quote below that inspired it. I think it fits perfectly with everything and I was so excited when I heard it. But what's wrong with this picture? Today is my 21st birthday but you guys are the one getting a gift? Well, you can make it up to me with reviews. They make good birthday presents

_It's been a long year and everyone around me has disappeared. It's been a long year and all this mess around me is finally clear, so can I have a moment just to say hello? Can you let your anger go? It's been a long year and I'm finally ready to be here. -Rosi Golan, It's Been a Long Day_

* * *

Danny was coming home today and it was making Steve anxious. His partner hadn't called with his flight information which only added to Steve's anxiety. He thought about looking up the flight manifests to see which one Danny was on but if the detective didn't want him to know there had to be a reason so Steve had resisted the urge (plus he could hear the rant in his head from Danny about abuse of powers). Steve had managed to make it through the day, trying not to be a total pain in the ass. Chin and Kono didn't have to suffer just because Steve was in a mood, but that didn't mean that their suspects were granted such reprieve.

At 5pm, Chin was practically shoving him out the door and Steve didn't fight him. His plan was to swing by the house and pick up the Camaro and then go by Danny's to see if he was back at his apartment. That plan dies though as Steve looks out at his back yard and sees his partner standing on the beach, hands in his pocket, looking out towards the beach. Danny's wearing jeans, a long sleeve shirt and his hair is slightly mussed by the ocean breeze and Steve's never thought his partner's looked so good.

He takes the stairs down from the lanai to the beach two at a time and makes it to his partner's side in a few long strides.

"Danny," He calls out, making the other man aware of his presence. "I didn't realize you were back in town."

"Got in a few hours ago." Danny shrugs, not looking at Steve. His voice is calm and it's a little unnerving to his partner.

"Why didn't you call? I would have come and picked you up." Steve questions, somewhat uneasy about his partner's mood.

"I needed some time to think." Danny informs.

"Okay." Steve answers, still hesitant, and takes a seat in one of the chairs. They're both quiet for a few minutes-Steve sitting with Danny still standing and staring out at the ocean- before Danny speaks again

"I've had a lot of time to think over these last two weeks and I've had a lot of realizations about things but the one that scares me the most, is that I'm in love with you."

The words flow effortlessly out of Danny's mouth and Steve is frozen in his spot. Danny is scared to be in love with him. _Right back atcha partner._ Steve thinks to himself. In the two weeks that Danny was away, Steve has come to the same realization that what he and Danny have is so much more than just a partnership—it's a relationship. It's not one that either of them went looking for but somehow they found in each other the missing pieces of themselves. Steve is quiet, tightly controlled and seemingly irrational whereas Danny is loud, emotional and logical to a fault. The list is long but at the end it all comes down to the fact that they needed each other and for them, need is a terrifying concept.

Before Steve can even process what Danny is telling him and form a proper response in his head, Danny is talking again.

"You know, I was okay with being alone for the rest of my life until you came crashing in with your combat boots and hand grenades ….and now suddenly the thought of being alone for the rest of my life depresses the hell out of me. And it's not just a need for companionship, it's a need for _you. _Because without you, who else is going to accept a haole who talks too much, too loud and for too long no matter how good of a cop he is? Who else is going to fight my ex when she gets the bright idea that I'm too dangerous to be around my own child? Who else is going to take care of my Grace when I can't and make sure that nothing happens to her?" Danny rants and Steve smiles.

Danny's gotten carried away again trying to make a point that Steve already knows. The taller man stands and moves closer to his partner and it seems to settle the blonde down some. Danny looks up into Steve's eyes and sees a reflection of himself in them. Fear, desire, anxiety and most of all love are shining through his sea blue eyes and Danny reaches up to place a hand on the side of Steve's face, softly brushing his thumb across his cheek.

"Who else is going to love me, faults and all, for the rest of my life?" Danny adds softly and Steve's smile grows.

"Nobody but me, babe." Steve replies before leaning down to softly brush his lips against Danny's.

The kiss is soft and slow as if time has suddenly ceased to matter and for them in a way it has. Both men realized that right now forever is theirs for the taking. After a few minutes, Steve finally pulls back and rests his forehead against Danny's.

"I was afraid that you weren't going to come back to me." He whispers. "I was afraid that you were going to think this was all a mistake and leave me before I ever really knew you were mine. That you were going to realize that New Jersey would always be your home-" Danny puts a finger over Steve's lips to quiet him.

"I went back home, or at least to what I thought was home, and found out that there was nothing left for me there. My family is there …..but my heart is here with you and Grace." He states and the smile that Steve rewards him with is absolutely stunning.

"Are you actually calling this 'pineapple-infested hellhole' home now?" Steve asks, trying to contain his excitement.

"While Hawaii still has many flaws like fruit on pizza and tsunamis and ridiculous looking clothing, it's got a lot of really good things too." Danny says placing another kiss on Steve's lips. "Though I still claim that Springsteen could take on Don Ho any day." He states and Steve laughs, pulling his smaller partner into his arms.

"I'm glad you're _home." _Steve declares with another kiss. "I missed you while you were gone."

"I missed you too babe." The two men stand there like that, simply holding onto one another as the last of the sun disappears over the horizon.

"You coming inside?" Steve asks as the dark begins to roll in. He slides out of the embrace till only their hands remained together.

"Yeah, just give me a minute." Danny replies. Steve looks at him for a second before nodding and heading back up towards the house.

Alone on the beach again, Danny closes his eyes and tries to picture the Jersey shore in his mind as he listens to the waves crashing out at seas but instead of picturing the boardwalk, all he can see are two faded wooden chairs with a cooler of Long Boards settled between them looking out over another perfect Hawaiian sunset. It's one of those rare defining moments in a person's life when all the answers appear with sudden clarity. New Jersey wasn't his home anymore—Steve and this Hawaiian beach side house were his home now …..and forever.


End file.
